With the official ruling of
accepted source materials I believe that the server should use the actual Forgotten Realms fey lore instead of the Dresden Files inspired homebrew version used now. There has always been a heavy emphasis on using source material for things, up to 3.5, with 3e/3.5e overriding earlier material if there's a conflict.
I understand that there isn't much fey lore in FR, but there is a good chunk after researching it extensively that can be used or even added onto:
Monster Mythology is a 2e dungeon master's guide and the information on fey contained within does not have contradictions on fey lore in later editions or in FR. Beginning on page 177, it begins to talk about the fey gods and we get a look at their lore. Led by Queen Titania, the Seelie court moves among the outer planes and is composed of two courts, the Inner Court, who pays homage to Titania, and the Outer Court, which consists of fey gods who do not pay homage to Titania or who's concerns cause them to spend time away from the court.
The courts have strong leanings towards chaos and are good inclined. Despite their nature, they follow Titania's orders and have a strong affiliation with the Seldarine, the elven pantheon. They have a strong sense of fellowship and, despite their chaotic nature, work well together.
The book goes on to detail the gods, their duties, how they interact with the world, and what "Sylvan" truly means. Though the Queen of Air and Darkness is their nemesis, Titania stays her hand despite Oberon and the rest of the Inner Court's call to wage war against the "dark presence afflicting their people." Her Unseelie Court makes its home in the lower regions of Pandemonium and the creation myth regarding the black diamond is detailed here.
The source book goes on to detail each of the gods, their avatars, as well as some lore regarding them, and how the different races of fey interact with humans (usually beneficial).
Creature Crucible: Tales of the Wee Folk is a 1e/2e supplement. It talks about the different creatures as well as important faerie figures and details the languages of the fey and suggests they all have a common language and,
"Individual races and regions may of course have their own peculiar expressions, accents, and even dialects (all great fun for role-playing), influenced by the local culture. Spelling may be different as well."
It lists their stats, level advancements, and how to use them in combat. The lore of the races listed within is very detailed and includes centaurs, dryads, fauns, hsiao, treants, brownies (and redcaps), leprechauns, pixies and sprites, pookas, sidhe, woodrakes (and mandrakes/coldrakes), and wood imps. There are also several campaigns/adventures for this book (located at the end), using it as a resource.
It goes on to mention the mechanical side of the fey, weaknesses they have, and how they view death as well as fey reincarnation. Considering this is a 1e supplement, some information, such as Dreamland, is overrode by later editions. Their lifestyle is hedonistic, however they work to take care of nature much like druids.
The lore surrounding changelings, second sight, pixie-rings, and innate invisibility is also listed, as well as faerie spells/charms up to the seventh level. There are even new fairy spells, that have their own descriptions and go up to 6th level. They fey have skills and resources described, such as equipment.
Several magic items are introduced to be theme appropriate and have their own descriptions/stats. Punishments for the fey include service, exile, and the most serious punishment, magical imprisonment. Death does little, as the fey will simply reincarnate eventually.
The book details, and gives advice, on how to DM the npc woodland creatures/fey. There is also a glossary of terms, usually fey related, at the end which is handy.
Seelie and Unseelie Courts is a 3.5e article written by Gwendolyn Kestrelis, an editor for Wizards of the Coast. Along with information on the courts, it talks about the two thrones of each queen, and its powers. While in Monster Manuel, the fey are more divided by physical corruption and the natural state of things, this article takes on a more philosophical approach to it, but one that is reflected physically as well. Inner court dealings are more detailed here, adding finesse.
Now, given that the server has been using the homebrew fey lore, I understand a transition to the canon lore would be a bit abrupt and concerns of retconned characters/plots might arise. While that would be better for the canon lore, there is a way to incorporate both for a smooth transition.
There are a few similarities already with the two canon courts, so that will help the transition. What you could do, is...
--Have all of the fey everyone has interacted with be the Wild Court playing a massive game/lying to everyone before dying off so the two canon courts are there once more.
--Have their interactions be from the malicious unseelie so the lore they think they know is incorrect and the door opens to this entire new world.
--Have some sort of weird, magical effect that was placed on the fey, or a curse or something, where they acted oddly.
--Have a battle between Oberon/Titania and the Queen of Air and Darkness where the fey went haywire and developed their own courts before everything went back to normal.
--Have the rules be false and the Queens, that were kidnapped/disappeared make a return and the courts go back to normal
--Have the interactions with fey be a dream and not the reality that occurred, which they can slowly remember the truth of over time.
--Have the memories of every interaction be the victim of tailor memories.
These are but a few examples and the transition doesn't have to happen over night, it could happen over time via DM events if needed, as well as talking to the players who have current fey/fey blooded characters (also if needed).
While this is a lore dump, I wouldn't expect the average player to know all of it, or read the source books, unless it was something they're extremely interested in. I believe DMs wanting to run events, however, should be informed on what they're running it for and these sources are very helpful in that regard. Fey lore can be dispensed over the course of DM events icly, and through story telling. It can easily be found organically, which is fun! Every source I've linked leads to the actual source where you can read it online. There's other descriptive lore on fey, however it comes from later editions, such as the
Fey Compendium I, which is 5e and also something that would have to be purchased.
On a closing note, I didn't write this to personally attack those who like the homebrew lore, or those who created it. I wrote this because fey are my favorite part of the fantasy genre. I love them across nearly all settings and it's almost impossible to get me to hate them. What's special about them is that they're so different from setting to setting, and each has a special place in my heart. Canon lore and sources seem to be extremely important to C_D's overall narrative, so I think it's important to extend this to the fey as well, or to clearly identify on the forums where there are deviations and provide source materials for interested parties (like me!). I hope this post has been informative and at least piqued the interest of some people in one of my favorite aspects of D&D canon.