Best Dm Answers.

[enarian123]

So wanted to start this, I never do these but eh!


Rules are simple, dm asks for a roll of some sort and when you roll badly the response they give you is.......






Dm tells the party to roll search after a battle in the forest.    

Kald Blake my paladin, "found dirt"

[Edge]

"You see fish. Bloop bloop."

[FaeFae]

"You are in a forest. If you squint, you can just about make out that a forest is made of individual trees."

[Arya]

Not for my own toon, but for another, who failed a spot check.

"He only notices the ass he has been staring at the whole time."

[Garage Trashcan]

"You have a foot."

[Nokteronoth]

Not only have you failed to jump the gorge, you managed to hit every single pointy rock on the way down. It would be later remarked by a watching witness that it almost looked like it was on purpose, but don't let that distract you from the pain of a dagger-like rock stuffed where the sun don't shine.

~BR

[Arya]

Less words and rolls, but still actions and consequences.

Player: *Stomps on flowers*

DM: *Spawns assassin vines on player*

[allatum]

In my pathfinder game there's a blind oracle in the party who has a longspear. She also only has eight strength and is usually utilizing the reach from behind a person if she decides to use it. She always misses and the flavor usually involves her poking aforementioned ally in the butt by mistake (to no real damage of course.)

[Edge]

Aug 25, 2016 22:40:33 GMT -5 Arya Kalarathri said:

Less words and rolls, but still actions and consequences.

Player: *Stomps on flowers*

DM: *Spawns assassin vines on player*

This was either Lady or me, spawning stuff for Bella in her event =D

[trylobyte]

After misinterpreting Pathfinder's bloodlines and getting some confusing not-really-help from other players, I wound up rolling a sorcerer with no ranks of Knowledge Arcana (but oddly had Knowledge Planes and Knowledge Religion).  I also have the Unlearned drawback, which means I have a sorcerer who literally cannot make Knowledge Arcana checks.

We were once asked to roll Arcana checks, and I remembered I can't.  Despite the fact I had just cast Detect Magic.  The DM's response:  "Wow!  What did you just do?!  YOU'RE A WIZARD!  You spend the next several seconds staring at your hands in wonderment."

[Valimar Dragonbane]

At our pnp group (me as the player): I throw my monkey head at the lamia!  Is it distracted?

Our DM: ah... yes?  Yes.  The lamia is distracted by the monkey head.

For those not in the know: My pnp character carries around a magically cured monkey head that has the alarm spell on it.  When you pull the chain on the head, it screams crazily.  I followed the adage of "even if it's bolted down, take it!"