Well crap.

[Goat]

So I haven't been around much the last few weeks.  Real life and all that, you know how it all is.  Mostly posting here because I need an outlet to write this down and to explain why I'm likely to be bitter, snappy, and otherwise grumbly should I summon up the energy to make an appearance in game.  I can't really talk about it candidly to most people at the moment due to the circumstances, so thusly, this long winded rant/explanation/cathartic growling.  I got some news yesterday that has left me flipping between furious, panicked, depressed, trying to have faith that someone, somewhere will do some form of "the right thing," and maybe, just maybe a small glimmer of hope that this could open up a few opportunities.  

In short, the company I work for, rather sneakily, announced that it will be eliminating the position that I work in.  I found out about this secondhand. I wasn't even told to my face that "Hey, by February, you won't have a job" but instead, a friend had to call me to ask if I knew about the meeting that they just had on my day off to say that my job is gone, and to "rest assured that everyone who this impacts (Except for Goat, because f**k that guy, he doesn't need to know) has been told that this is occurring.  Certainly explains all the pitying looks that I got yesterday when I ran in for something. In fact, my wife just approached my manager and insisted that he needed to call me and tell me precisely what was going on.  Rather than offer an explanation- even the one that he gave at the meeting to the everyone else, he got pissed that someone had told me, and would have just preferred that I remained in the dark.  Thanks man.  I've been living on anxiety medication for two days now.  You're super awesome.  Grow a pair and at least have the decency to call me and tell me yourself and not wait until it's convenient to you to tell me how you're f**king me over, and how I should be grateful because you really appreciate everything I've done to help you out in the past. Oh.  And I'll have to teach someone else to do the portions of my job that aren't handled by a computer or outside company now.  Dividing up responsibilities to save money, to better serve our customers.  What about your EMPLOYEES, asshole?

Through the grapevine, I've been told "Oh don't worry, they'll take care of you, they'll find you another job within the company, it's been guaranteed" but it comes with the caveat that I'll probably lose a significant amount of pay, receive less hours, and have to work all sorts of crazy floating shifts, rather than the steady shifts that I can, you know, plan my life around.  It's loosely promised to be a comparable position.  Guess what?  There isn't one.  And then there's 4 (or more) other people that are in the same boat as I am who's positions are also being eliminated.  At our location alone.  But don't worry!  You'll have a job!  

Yeah, some small part of me is grateful for that.  I know a lot of people don't have jobs, period, and I'll have a job of some fashion, get some money that I can still (hopefully) pay my bills with and all that. But you know what really hurts?  I f**king loved my job.   I loved what I did. I enjoyed it.  I could wake up every morning and not have that moment of despair of not wanting to go to work.  I enjoyed working the reports, problem solving, auditing, finding out what was causing the problems and implementing programs to correct it.  I lived that sh*t, man.  I'd look forward to going to work every day and seeing what challenges would occur and how I could overcome them and help improve the financial aspects of the company.  I've saved them close to $200,000 in the three years I've been doing this job.  I'm proud of that.  I took it as a challenge to do better.  I could find more money, correct more mistakes, teach and train others to keep things from happening again, and work with other locations to do the same.  But now, a computer gets to do all the work for me, and some outside company who has no grasp of what's actually occurring at the individual location is just going to do all necessary adjustments.

What hurts even worse is the day before they announced this, I helped do 77 job interviews for a massive hiring event.  I alone did upwards of 40 of them.  Now I can't help but think of all those people that I talked to that day and feel that they are taking one of the jobs that I had could have gone to when I lose mine.  

But all in all, I'm capable of being a good actor.  I'm capable of pretending that I still want to do my job, and go into work with a giant ass smile on my face tomorrow morning.  I'm capable of being a f**king adult and seeing this through to the end and going through the motions that I still care.  Because I suppose that some part of me does.  I have hopes that something will work out and I can continue doing what I love, but I feel so damn defeated and betrayed right now, it feels like I'm lying to myself when I think that.  I pray that I can maintain the faith in myself to see this through and to move on to bigger and better things, with this company, or somewhere else.  

In short, I love you guys, thank you for being my avenue to vent when I can't in other places just yet, and I'll probably see you in game at some point or another.  I just can't promise to be energetic or as much fun as usual.

[Arya]

*Offers positive energies*

:-( This really, really sucks. All of it. The bad curveballs and the stuff that impacts people with anxiety, not to mention the circumstances over all.

If you want me to run something specific for the stuff I am wrapping up with Theodyr and company, please let me know. I want the game to be an outlet and where you can have fun - not deal with more stress. Do what you must to take care of yourself!

Sincerely,
Arya

[trylobyte]

Really sucks to hear that, man.  I've been in a similar position, so if you ever need someone to rant to, hit me up ingame.  Or we could just roleplay like usual, if that helps more!  Whatever you need, we're here for ya.

[Edge]

Wow, your boss is a massive douchebag. Good lord.

At this point if I were in your shoes I wouldn't even want them to find me another position, because I could never work with these people again after pulling that kind of nonsense, I'd be constantly looking for when the next anvil is going to drop.

Best of luck on whatever happens next, man.

[Arya]

+2 to what Edge said. My supervisor at Safeway was awesome, but the person above her really pulled a lot of stuff and impromptu. So...I really have limited patience for poor management who are only looking after the next paycheck.

Granted, I did not love the job as much as you do yours. So I had less qualms about trying to find other work.


Sincerely,
Arya

I am sorry to hear this, I really am.  And I hope everything calms down for you.  But damn, that one guy, I can't even place a name for it.  Douchebag, covers part of this, but this is just sheer incompetence mixed with severe amounts of antagonism.

[whangdoodle]

Well I am going to say the terrible thing here.

One piece of advice I've received by a few people is to never have any sort of true company 'loyalty' and always look after yourself first. Sucks to say but time and time again it's been shown that no company truly cares about you and no company has any sort of loyalty to you.

Your always replaceable and there is no such thing as job security. You can work ten years at a job doing some of the best work in the company then one day your gotten rid of for whatever reason. Worst case as I've heard time and time again as a scapegoat to cover someone above you who messed up.

Sorry to hear it happen, and sorry about my rant. Just hearing things like this pisses me off and has only taught me again and again to always have an escape plan.