My Public Apology

[Melody]

Hey everyone. I wanted to apologize for the way I reacted to a situation that occurred recently in Politics chat. Nobody's asked me to submit this apology, but I know when I've caused a wound to the player base, and it's important for me to heal it as soon as I can.

Despite what happened in there, it wasn't helpful for me to barge in and be hostile about things. Ultimately, the situation is being handled, and I could've handled myself much, much better than I did. I'm very sorry for that, and deeply apologize to those I offended.

I understand that when things like this happen, it can be a difficult time for the whole server. I don't want to be a contributing factor in making things worse, so I'm very glad to admit when I'm wrong and try to make amends.

It's also been brought to my attention that a portion of the player base thinks I'm a bully and thinks I'm very secretive, essentially keeping my real thoughts to myself while I smile, but telling the Admins something else. On that front, at least, I can gladly explain!

Generally, I don't want to trouble the players with a lot of the less fun sides of CD. My kindness is not some facsimile -- it's a real part of who I am. When I offer a hug, a smile, a kind word, those are not manufactured things that I create as some kind of mask. They're simply one part of me, the best part of me.

When I have to deal with issues behind the scenes, yes, I have to put on my serious side, and typically go to the Admins to help deal with them. That's their job, and I don't feel it would be productive for me to drag things down by advertising what I think about every single issue in public. Ultimately, I do have to separate how I feel against knowing that saying it in public might be misconstrued, misinterpreted, or otherwise latched onto as a way to drive a wedge between the team. As you can see, I can be emotional too, and it helps me to simply go to them instead of letting the emotional side of me rule the day. These lessons have been hard-learned not just here, but on other servers I have served on, and so I hope you'll understand that I won't always volunteer information. This isn't meant to harm anyone, and it hurts me to know that sometimes the effect of that lack of transparency comes across like I'm some secret puppet master pulling strings behind the scenes.

This most certainly doesn't mean I'm whispering in the Admins' ear to get my way -- I try so, so hard to listen to the entire player base, and getting feedback is enormously helpful to me. I send that feedback to the Admins so they can make informed decisions, and the more information I get, the better my understanding of any given issue is. CD has a wide range of perspectives on many things, and yes, of course I volunteer my own opinion about stuff. I want and hope you're willing to come to me if you need something. I'm here for you, not for myself, and I'm here to serve the player base, never to manipulate or rule. My goal is to be a servant who gives people fun plots and helps out wherever I can.

If anyone believes I've been a bully, please, please don't hesitate to submit a complaint to the Admins. I was shocked and mortified to hear that, and it's begun a time of reflection so that I can understand if I really am, or why things are perceived that way. It's the very last thing I want to be, and I've offered multiple times to step down if at any point the Admins believe I've reached that point -- because if I am, it's time for me to go. Their job is to rein in anyone who is going overboard, myself included, and they will be fair about all things. I can always do better, and I humbly ask that if anyone has a complaint, please do send it in. I'm imperfect, but I promise I'll try to do better for CD.

So again, I deeply apologize for my behavior in Politics chat. I was hurt and offended, but it doesn't justify how I reacted.

You're all valued and cherished by me, even when we might disagree on things. And I want to be the first to admit when I'm wrong.

- Melody