Stuff That Went Down, Voss, and Moving Forward

[Not Batman]

Jul 31, 2016 16:21:07 GMT -5 sinisteromnibus said:

Not Batman       : We've never really gotten along, and to be honest that's mostly due to the impression I was given of you from dom101        who is now banned. Before I ever met you, I was given screenshots and logs of behavior between you and some players who aren't even here anymore in the past and was told you regularly harassed other players (particularly females) both IC and OOC and that you left the server for a time because you'd been reprimanded by the admins for it. I don't know how much of that is true, but at the time it really colored all my dealings with you. I've always found our communication with one another to be difficult - likely due to the fact that we're a lot of like. We're both confrontational people who don't like to see injustice or unfair treatment - and certainly don't like to be the victim of it. I'm sorry for pre-judging you based on the words of someone I should've known better than to trust, and I'm sorry for the many times I dealt discourteously with you in our disagreements. I don't expect forgiveness, and to be honest I don't deserve it, but going forward I will make every attempt to accommodate your desires in the game world. Whether they be for me to avoid you in all ways or for me to simply be more aware of your feelings in both my rp and our OOC interactions. You were right in your posts above that thus far in the thread I've made excuses and given reasons to avoid the consequences of my actions, and I'm sorry for doing that as well. I know you don't believe it was unintentional, but this is honestly a first for me, and I'm not very good at the whole apologizing thing.

WRONG. You knew me for quite a while before you muddled around with Dom101 and when he supposedly showed you those FORGED screens. I was one of the first people to greet you when you showed up here and one of the few to try and help you get your market trade idea off the ground (Your character before Voss). 100% of the crap you're spitting isn't true. Don't come on here just to lie your ass off. Me, you and Mouse used to RP together almost every day. What a load of crap, even when you're trying to be sincere you can't tell the truth. Hell, I even helped arm and equip Voss for most of his early career. I even remember when you asked me for help with his build and was the one who suggested scimitar weapon master back when you were using a greataxe. Which, by the way, I still remember what it was. It was a Whirlwind that I had given to you shortly after our characters met. Back before Voss was even created, I was volunteering to assist you lot with helping Mouse get her voice back. Tell the truth for five minutes out of your life. Communications between us only became difficult after you pulled a damn 180 after I told you all to "go back to IC" instead of throwing a temper tantrum in the central square.

Edit: You can't attempt to pass the blame for who you've upset and what you've done on to Dom who isn't even here to defend his own case. That's not fair to Dom.

Edit 2: I've never been called aside for nor have I ever harassing players, male or female. So take your character attacks and your lying elsewhere.

[FaeFae]

I had never expected to hear this sentiment and so I will say that I am receptive toward an attempt to work things out between us. There is more than one issue and the last attempt at mediation could hardly have gone poorer, and my own anxiety has not helped matters then, or since.

It is no secret that we do not think well of one another. You have said cruel things regarding me whether or not untrue, or genuine in your perception, that were harmful to my reputation and enjoyment of the server. I have had to work to escape these opinions ever since my return and have made many friends now who would have never had anything to do with me had you remained and things persisted. I felt like I could not play on the server – I did not feel comfortable with how things had progressed in character despite my every effort to defuse the situation and just escape to neutral ground, I was not comfortable with our constant going to our respective friends to spread how bad we felt about one another, and I left immediately after finishing up a DM questline (which I do have you to thank for my participation), after an event in which you were on DM-side and were controlling the spawns at Gnolls with Jared and Velenya. You might have been intending an ad-hoc for us, or the start of something fun to make amends, but I was terrified and that marked the end of my playing on Cormyr and the Dalelands for a number of months.

I feel like it could very easily happen again. I do not have the personality to contest yours when you are determined. You are the better writer, you type faster, and you know how to cut deep. I did have anxiety and spoke with my closer friends because I was frustrated and upset, and I kept failing over and over, and nothing could make it better. There were other times where it wasn't me at all, yet I found myself getting the blame for the actions of others. I tried to prove my innocence, tried to provide logs and screenshots, but there was no willingness to accept it at the time. From my perspective, it was all futile and given the friends you had at the time, I felt almost completely alone.

I felt like I was the problem. I was fumbling every attempt and could not be good enough. Honestly, the conflict between Voss and Velenya happened because of dom101 and his choices, and what he would tell each of his individually. I was just going along with it and logging on each day to RP until I started receiving tells asking me for explanations. It stressed me. It wasn't a good form of communication because I didn't want to feel like the story was wrong or had to be justified. You became upset I would compliment your RP while at the same time avoiding you and that is entirely true. I have always maintained that you and yours sculpt excellent stories and have great characterization. I hold this stance today even though I absolutely do run off when you're around and find your presence threatening to my enjoyment of the game. I worry there will be a comment, a poor opinion voiced, one shared privately with others, or even one just thought to oneself.

I am sorry you also felt that Remmy coming to talk to you on my behalf was unacceptable. I was hurt and he has more of a stomach toward these things, and I think given what you've posted about Clockwork in this thread, you should be in a position to empathize why now I felt the need to do so. Some people are stronger and when faced toward hurtful things where I feel trapped, well, I freak out and cry. He has been my friend for a decade and he wanted to spare me the pain of a hopeless situation.

Anyhow,
I returned to the server only because someone who I thought disliked me contacted me on skype and expressed that she'd like if I returned. It has been wonderful since and I am thankful she reached out to me. I really don't want to lose that.

Almost all of the opinions others have posted resonate with me on one level or another and I could fill this response with my past experiences with ease - but that doesn't need to be aired on this forum. You have heard it all from me and you know it is there because there has been no effort between us to actually heal these wounds. We have only picked at them and held a stance of aggressive opposition. A year has passed and if this thread is any tell, you have hurt a lot of people. Time might have passed to give new perspectives, or maybe you're just in a different position than you were before. Either way, my only care is that these conflicts never occur again with me or anyone else.

So, we can talk. I appreciate that you chose to approach me.

[whitespirit]

Hello SinisterOmnibus

I am currently mostly running or tending to the longer plotlines I have active (or planned to go active soon). Its true we didn't interact much, but as far as I can remember you were never directly unkind to me either. I don't know what you were told about me, I hope good things. Though, I make mistakes like everyone else, so you might have heard bad things. Either way, I am going to continue running plots and playing

Thank you for the kind words and who knows, perhaps you and ClockworkMayhem (hello to you too!) will end up in one of my events at some time. ^.^

[enarian123]

So.... I won't lie, I didn't read every word after the first handful of posts.   But I'll toss this out, Rp doesn't require all PC's to get along.   Though the goal is for everyone to have fun, I've said that in the past.   But as someone who ended up err on a disliked side with you once, I think I say this without coming across as a blind supporter, I've also been down a similar road around here once.   Changing people's minds will come in the end, on the server and how you handle what comes.   What matters most is what you do next.   I for one say good luck, but I'll also caution it won't be easy.   That said, Pally and I aren't counting you down and out yet.