Jalthex's Non-CD Nonsense

[Dreamwalker]

I occasionally write as a hobby. I'm too lazy to write anything overly long and far too bored most of the time to stop. I figure I'd throw some of the compositions I like the most up here and see if anyone gets a kick out of them. Expect anything from short stories to poems to song lyrics.

For starters, a prologue I wrote for a short-lived tabletop game I ran for a handful of friends. The intent was campy sci-fi with lots of pop culture references and fourth wall breaking in the spirit of the old Space Quest video games, or I suppose a bit like Rick and Morty. We even had "cameos" with some of my other friends. It was fun while it lasted. Here's what I read to kick off session one (WARNING: Adult Language):


Kenth Philian had bought his ship off of a human named Mohammed Abdul Shahid, a spacer descended from Arabic Christians. Mohammed mentioned off-handedly during the sale that the ship had been owned by more people than an Ulaghar sex slave-a joke that Kenth figures was funny to the man, but one he didn't understand himself. The ship had some poorly written Arabic calligraphy on the side naming it Roc (رخ‎‎), a name given it by Mohammed. Kenth never really liked that name, and changed it to Raj- mostly because, after some of the paint wore off, it said Rah (رح), and a passing man mentioned that he should put another dot there, and that Raj was a good name for the ship. To this day, Kenth is not aware that (رج) means rattle and that for that passerby, was a reference to the constant noise coming from the ship's very old engine.

The self proclaimed captain Kenth Philian barely had his ship a month before deciding to add to his crew. He recruited a Splicer named Fotokork, a Blattidian, and Vesara, who was an Ulaghar engineer. Kenth was attracted to Vesara and tried to make a pass at her by referencing his love of sushi. It was received poorly. One of his first jobs piloting the Roc/Rah/Raj was a scavenging mission he got from a single art collector named Brian which sent him to the Falstaff Sector. On this job he met the Skell named Bu and invited him aboard as a crewmate/mascot. Vesara mentioned to Bu Kenth's proclaimed enjoyment in eating uncooked fish, and after having it explained to him what sushi is, Bu was somewhat uneasy around the so-called captain for a time.

Bu was but an adolescent Skell when he was ripped from his fringe homeworld, made to be a glorified cup-bearer for a group of space-raiders calling themselves the Stoned Temple Pilots- an unintentional reference to an ancient rock band from Earth. In fact, the raiders took this name because they were constantly under the influence of a mind-altering substance known as Pep-C, flew a ship which was originally a mobile synagogue they stole from a group of wayward Space Jews, and took turns flying their shitty space-vehicle. During his time with the STP, Bu himself became addicted to this drug as well, a habit he has yet to kick. All of six months Bu spent with his captors before being "rescued" by a group of "heroes" known as the Crimson Fleet. He was "liberated" and given a "job" aboard their flagship, the Scarlet Harlot. Bu did not take much with him, as he was but a young, simple organism. He took only a massive laser-cannon with a built-in artificial intelligence formerly owned by the STP leader, Greg. Bu was then officially a prisoner/member of a band of pirates/heroes; all of his previous captors bravely slaughtered by his daring new friends.

It was hardly another four months before Bu was witness to even more brave people . The Space Fuzz. His new family was assaulted in a sting operation definitely not orchestrated by an inside (wo)man who is definitely not mentioned later in this introduction. Once more he was audience to a heroic bloodbath. Bu's small stature allowed him to duck away during the firefight and he was the only survivor. As chance would have it, the Scarlet Harlot was to be the ship Kenth would be hired to scavenge. Funny how The Plot/Fate works sometimes.


After getting paid for the Scarlet Harlot mission, Kenth found new employment with Vesara's father Vessar. Vesara told her father about Kenth's attempted pass at her and the two of them shared in a laughing joke told in their native tongue of Ulagh. Kenth once more, did not understand the joke. After several milk run jobs, Vessar finally gave Kenth and the crew a real job. This job would be as simple as the last, calling on the quartet to hold up a McDonald's situated on a UGT (United Galactic Treaty) space station located in the Gomoron System, in the Ichabod Sector.

This job would not be as simple as the last. The manager of this McDonald's, an Ovacrinian named Folgo, was well prepared for the group and had set up defenses upon closing the McDonald's up. Fotokork was dispatched completely by a laser-mine wired to the door- something he missed while doing a cursory check on the security. If it wasn't clear by his lack of back-story, be at ease knowing he was never important to this story. With that, the loud-speaker of the store blared and the rough, 6-pack a day smoker voice of Folgo Roxabod rang out toward the awaiting auditory organs of the remaining three- "Don't try to run away, little slut-fucks! You're fucking around in my Trademarked McDonald's PlayPlace now!" This preceded a group of small mobile weapons platforms (machine-guns with robot-legs) exiting the now destroyed front door and advancing on the trio, all of whom sought cover.

Not able to deal with the constant firing of the ROMPs (Really Overpowered Machinegun Platforms), Kenth played the Ace which was ever up his sleeve. He quickly stood up from behind cover and said, "We surrender unconditionally!" While this certainly cost the group their job, the "captain" was able to preserve the lives of his crew. Well, except Fotokork, but fuck that asshole.

Folgo accepted this surrender, on the condition that Kenth and his crew began working for him instead, that he would get the deed to his ship, and that job number one would be dealing with the person who sent them. Kenth and Bu accepted. Vesara did not. Folgo told her it was okay and to walk away. Unbeknownst to Kenth and Bu, it was not okay and Folgo had her killed later- that's okay though, fuck that no-backstory-bitch too.

On their way back to the Solar System in the Atticus Sector, Bu and Kenth picked up another wanderer- a medical robot doctor named P-47-CH, or "Patch" if you wanna be cute about it. The malfunctioning medical drone prototype requested to come aboard their craft after arriving shortly before them to a space station that the two had stopped at for food. "Patch" did not mention to them that she had been turned down several times by other spacers and pilots, only that she could provide medical care at a lower cost than most space-hospitals. Kenth saw no reason to refuse this offer, even if the robot was wearing a dancer's tutu for no apparent reason. Several weeks later, Kenth would gather up the courage to ask Patch why she wears a tutu. Her response simply "that's private."


P-47-CH wasn't always a robot. Well, honestly, that isn't truly accurate. The robot was always a robot, but the data uploaded to the drone's memory core were not a programmer's code but the thoughts and personality and "mind" of former physician and experimental surgeon Dr. Victoria Roon. Dr. Roon had been suffering for some time from a horrid illness known as Digitos Contritum, an affliction which left her unable to do her job, resulting in her then coming down with a terrible case of Lacrimis Tristitiae. Her career had been her entire life, and so she set about working with her peers to transfer her consciousness into a robot body.

Eventually, she was successful. Her essence was implanted into a Panasonic 47 Series drone classed for hospital care, a P-47-CH. Her colleagues lauded their own accomplishments and looked to make the success a galactic headline. Patch wanted simply to return to her job as a doctor. Unfortunately, this proved to be difficult, as to many she was still something of a sideshow experiment and many refused to be treated by her. Eventually, she left her practice behind and looked to the rest of the galaxy, trying to find a way back to practicing medicine as she always had before. And for some reason, tutu.

The Vessar job was an easy enough score for the group, a simple Dutchman's Brownbag Handoff followed by a half accomplished Dirty Nose Layover. With the job finished, Folgo told Kenth he was on his way to paying off his debt. Let the record show that Kenth does not know how much work or money is required to pay this debt. After several simpler jobs, The Plot/Fate brought the group to a new job- dealing with a Bail Jumper. Before they could accept this job however, Kenth's brother Jasper reached out to him regarding a separate job, something more than a little rare, as Kenth had become accustomed to hearing from his family a few times a year at most. Jasper called asking for Kenth to help out a friend of his on a job, which Kenth could get a cut of the pay for.

The job Jasper's friend (who Kenth would later discover was named Bethany) was working was a simple heist job, jacking a sky-car from a specific attorney operating out of the large City-ship Dafelar which was passing through the Caesar Sector. Kenth and his crew simply had to pick Bethany and the sky car up and move it to the location of the drop, which conveniently enough was at a desert planet at the edge of the Hagar System, back in the Ichabod Sector.

Bethany, last name Behave, was certainly not born Donna McBride, daughter of Gregor and Fran McBride, an accountant and receptionist clerk aboard the CSV (Corporate Space Vessel) Incentivize, owned by Futureco. Donna Bethany, having not been born to these two, certainly never learned her father's trade or exploited that knowledge to run the books for criminal groups later in her life. No, Bethany was never a high-ranking member of the Crimson Fleet and certainly didn't sleep with several crew-members in order to obtain said position.



Prior to becoming a mercenary she certainly didn't have a falling out with the Crimson Fleet after they ran a slave-trading job and she certainly didn't arrange to have the fleet set upon by Law Enforcement in the sector they were working in. No, Bethany did not change her name, look, and overall identity to Miss Behave after this as a way to distance herself from the Fleet. Nope. None of that is true, I promise.