An apology

[Yaldabaoth]

I have played here for many years.  It was never my intent to come here and ruin anyone's good time, to create any sort of discord or stress in the community, or to just generally spread toxicity or bad feelings.  However, I am human.  I have done these things in the past, and have done so recently, perhaps without realizing it.  I would like to formally apologize to anyone who has ever felt stressed out when dealing with me, ever made to feel at all unwelcome in the community, or just generally annoyed by my behavior.  I can't undo what has been done.  However, if there are any here who would like to message me, either on Discord or on these forums to air out their grievances, or just talk to me, please do so.  I would like to make it right, though I know I am not owed that privilege.

This server has given me many years of happy memories.  This community has helped me through some miserably dark times in my life.  I will never forget that.  However, I won't remain so long as my presence is a troublesome element.

To Arya, TheotherKip, Demonic Angel, Kai Osprey, MyBadDay, Darvins, Poe, Sir_Ven, Dubeard, CanticleOfCocytus, TheLuidaeg, WhiskeyDingo, hyrulee, Allatum, DanielGooch, lakhena, Dismus, Nymera, Reality Jumper, Valimar Dragonbane, The Red Mage Rykka, Trylobyte, Fox, to all members of the Red Briar Company, Sins of the Fathers, Grove of Eilistraee, the House of Starglowand many, many, many, many others I have interacted with recently and over the years.  Thank you for making this a community worth being in.

To Bella, Edge, FireWraith, and Vincent: Thank you for creating a server that has been my home for years, and for keeping it running.  May CD have many more years ahead of it.

[The Red Mage]

I don't know what happened, but I'll miss you. And if you're not leaving, then I'm here to listen. Well, actually, I'm here to listen regardless.

[JadeDragon]

Always hate to see something like this happen. I am not innocent of letting my emotions get the better of me and saying things I regret. I understand completely how you feel. I just hope things get resolved and that you feel better and that anyone involves feels better too.

[Sir Ven]

Hey Yalda,

Clearly something prompted to this.    No idea what it was, but for whatever it's worth - you've not offended me, ever.  I've enjoyed the little bit of RP with you I've been able to catch.    I'm pretty confident that if you did ever offend me, you wouldn't mean it - and it'd be safe for me to just tell you up front about how I was feeling.

 2020 has been a rough year for a lot of people - I hope you're okay.    If you want to talk through whatever prompted this, as a friend and a sounding board, you're more than welcome to.   If you want to just jump in game and harass any of my characters, you're more than welcome to do that too.   Feredir's pretty easy to mock and tease - and I was quite amused at how your Barbarian (sorry, forget his name) basically played Bird. 

In either case, don't be a stranger

 - Ven

[Wicked]

Yalda,

As I've mentioned before, you always add to my gaming experience when you are around. I am delighted to rp with you or just talk to you at all times. I'm not sure what is going on but I want you to know that you are thought of highly and are a treat to have around.

You know how to get ahold of me if needed, so please do!

-Wicked

[kingofaquilonia]

yeah I dunno what prompted this bud but you've never bothered me in any way. Hope everything works out for you buddy

[Arya]

Told you privately and I will tell you again: you will be missed. And people have only said fond things about you to me. The few times I saw any misunderstanding or ruffled feathers seemed like they were resolved between you and the parties involved. They were years ago. And frankly, even if you were in the wrong in such a case, I am not going to "cancel" anyone over something like that.

If there is some sort of image that you are a toxic element, while it is fair to have that concern addressed, I cannot think of anyone here (short of a few) who has not rubbed people wrong once or twice. Myself included, some I apologize if any genuine harm is done but am working on being less apologetic about pettier considerations.

No one is perfect. This expectation of "perfect or nothing" put on us by whatever culture element applies is a killer of souls for communities.

If you need to leave to self-care, as I said, please do so. We are all having a rough time and it is becoming harder to protect our sanity. You will be missed, though. And my door (physical or virtual) is always open to you if you want to hang out, or conspire - I mean collaborate - a outdoors-y trip with a mutual friend of ours from the community. ;-)

Best,
Arya

[luidaeg]

Honestly, I don't know what's happened, but I'm not in the slightest bit upset with you, and I've enjoyed the RP we've had recently. I won't try to convince you to stay if you feel you need the space, but know that I do hope you eventually change your mind and come back again. It's okay to need a break.

[canticleofcocytus]

I'm likewise confused by this. I haven't been able to interact with you much since you returned, but I remember way back when we used to rp with Sin Mat. I've never had a problem with you that I can recall, and I'm not happy to see you go, man. I'm hopeful that something can be done to reconcile things so the server and community don't have to lose a great rper. I won't question your decision, but if there's anything I can do to convince you to stay please let me know.

[DubiousScroll]

Yalda, you've always been awesome.  Really sorry to see you go.