Screenshot Threat

[acleverpun]

From todays fun, thanks Arya!

Attachments:

[Arya]

Complete script below.


May as well. <.< So people have context. Ha.


Best,
Arya



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Commoner, Female: ...E-excuse me?

Commoner, Female: I heard I can get some help here...

Sariana: Good morning!

Sariana: Oh?

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: *She looks over to the woman* "Yes, what is it?"

Commoner, Female: Y-yes. You see...

Commoner, Female: Papa's farm...

Commoner, Female: Has a strange man on it.

Commoner, Female: Won't get off it.

Hank Bloodmoor: *turns his attention to the woman, curious whats going on*

Sariana: What makes him strange, outside of his unwillingness to leave?

Commoner, Female: .....He has a large axe.

Sariana: Oh.

Commoner, Female: He is slamming it into our tomatoes right now!

Hank Bloodmoor: woodchuck eh... or not *he grins*

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: "...Ah.  That's my kind of strange."

Hank Bloodmoor: *snorts* Kind of is understatement there.

Commoner, Female: I don't know why my papa's produce makes him so...angry...

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: *She rises up slowly, taking a deep breath to steady herself.*

Sariana: Dear me. Shall we see if we can convince him otherwise?

Commoner, Female: West of here...guards are terrified...he's strong.

Hank Bloodmoor: *looks at the 3 curious*

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: "Then I should at least fetch my armor.  I'll be quick."

Hank Bloodmoor: *stands up and comes to them*

Sariana: Same here.

Hank Bloodmoor: Hmph... theyll be back Im quite sure of it

Commoner, Female: *She gave a single, nervous nod*

Hank Bloodmoor: Didnt seem to be one of those who chicken out when trouble come*tryes to assure her*

Hank Bloodmoor: When did this man come to your farm? did he mention anything about reason why he came?

Commoner, Female: No..He just looked at the vegetables. All angry.

Commoner, Female: And started to attack them... We couldn't get him to reason with us.

Hank Bloodmoor: [Party] Ah here are the brave.. *he looks a bit shocked as he sees the two intheir armour*

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] "Let's be swift about this, lest this man ruin your entire harvest."

Hank Bloodmoor: [Party] Have to remember not to take granted of anyone... you two look like knights in shining armour

Hank Bloodmoor: [Party] *nods* Sounds like wise plan

Commoner, Female: We..don't have a lot of money. But if the farm survives..

Commoner, Female: We'll...give you some produce. For free.

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] "That's me.  A knight of the highest caliber."  *She said, dryly*

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] "I'm not worried about that.  Come on.  I'm curious to see this fellow."

Commoner, Female: *She bit her lower lip, then nodded, and gestured* Our farm is in the western outskirts..

Sariana : [Party] Same here! Also Valdis, you can add it to the list of your titles!

Hank Bloodmoor: [Party] *hes stomack makes a growling voice* Seems like my belly agrees to these terms

Hank Bloodmoor: [Party] *chuckles lightly*

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] *She takes a deep breath as she walks*

Commoner, Female: ...T-thank you S-sarenya...

Commoner, Female: *To the half-drow, still terrified of her appearance*

Hank Bloodmoor: [Party] So is this... farm of yours far away?

Commoner, Female: Just a little aways out the outskirts.

Hank Bloodmoor: [Party] *swipes some sweat from his forehead with a tissue*

[DM] Lady of Pain : *They saw produce everywhere. Strewn, tortured, and massacred like the convicts they apparently were in a story untold... The stalks cut in twain, the tomatoes c;lerly had a screaming and agonizing death as they were carelessly hacked and strewn on the ground!*

[DM] Lady of Pain : *And in the midst of it....*

[DM] Lady of Pain : *There was a tall, armored, and muscled man, roaring out at a rather offensive apple tree on the northwest corner of the plantation - the apple tree scattered and on the ground... Having fallen from the grace it had.*

Some Random Tomato Killer: RAWR!

Some Random Tomato Killer: DEATH TO THE PRODUCE!

Sariana : [Party] ... *she blinks* Well.

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] *She takes a deep breath, and pinches the bridge of her nose.  With a sigh, she strides towards the man*

Hank Bloodmoor: [Party] *looks at the man with a bit scared face*

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] "Hey.  HEY!"

Hank Bloodmoor: [Party] So how are we going to appro.

Hank Bloodmoor: [Party] *sighs* I guess straight approach

[DM] Lady of Pain : *The farmer, if he wet his pants, it was a long time ago*

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] "What are you doing?"

Some Random Tomato Killer: *He looked to Valdis* The Earthmother be damned!

Some Random Tomato Killer: The evilest thing in the world.

Hank Bloodmoor: [Party] *stays from safe distance behind the girls*

Sariana : [Party] Err...

Some Random Tomato Killer: What nature puts in this! Let it not fool you with the pleasant taste of BROCCOLI!

Some Random Tomato Killer: *He started to hack down at some broccoli heads now*

Sariana : [Party] Would you please stop that?

Some Random Tomato Killer: *Decpitation. Execution that made the neighbor cauliflower tremble in terror*

Hank Bloodmoor: [Party] *snickers some but straightens his face fast*

Some Random Tomato Killer: ARGH!

Some Random Tomato Killer: Lovely elven lady. You must understand.

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] "Don't be a fool, man.  That broccoli can grow back by the time the harvest comes around."

Some Random Tomato Killer: Chauntea has done horrors ot this world!

Sariana : [Party] *whispers* Is there some human cult of plant haters I am unaware of?

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] "If your plan is to spite the Earthmother, you are going about it all wrong."

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] *She shakes her head to Sariana*

Hank Bloodmoor: [Party] You have indeed found a goal for yourself sir *smiles*

Old Farmer: ...I NURTURED THOSE LOVELY HEADS FER MONTHS YE CRAZY LUNATIC!

Old Farmer: *The farmer finally yelled out*

Some Random Tomato Killer: How must we fight this evil in this land!? *To Valdis*

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] *She offered the man a soft smile as she approached* "Let us all calm down, first.  *She eyes the farmer at that*

Some Random Tomato Killer: *To Hank* Will ye join me in my crusade against the beautiful fruit on the northeast corner!?

Hank Bloodmoor: [Party] *whispers to the farmer* might not be wise to aggravate him*

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] "Do you know the best way to torture the apples, sir?"

Old Farmer: GINA! I THOUGHT YE GOT HELP!

Some Random Tomato Killer: ...

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] "Do you know how best to make them scream?  Put them into a press."

Some Random Tomato Killer: *Seemed to stop*

Sariana : [Party] *She folds her arms,happy to let the skald handle the man*

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] "Yes, once you twist that wheel, and turn, and turn, and turn..."

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] "All the life is squished from them in the most painful way possible, and all their juices shall flow like the blood of the slain."

Hank Bloodmoor: [Party] I fear I must decline this time, theres plenty of wrongdoings in the land, why have you chosen this place to start your cleansing, sir?

Some Random Tomato Killer: THAT LETTUCE IN THE CENTER IS OFFENSIVE~! WE MUST CUT IT UP.

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] "And the best part, sir."

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] *She puts her hand out*

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] "The apples exist to spread the seeds of their tree.  When you press them, they don't get to do that."

Sariana : [Party] *she cocks her brow, looking to skald thoughtfully for a moment*

Some Random Tomato Killer: ....

Some Random Tomato Killer: GOOD IDEA!

Some Random Tomato Killer: LET'S GATHER THE APPLES!

Hank Bloodmoor: Hmm..

Old Farmer: YE NEED TA PAY FOR THOSE!

Old Farmer: DON'T TAKE MY SEEDS!

Hank Bloodmoor: Your going to have apple sauce soon it seems

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] "Now, let's not be hasty.  Your foe has had many ages to work her magic, and we, too can be patient."

Some Random Tomato Killer: I do not fault the old man.

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] "After all, if you're going to press those apples..."

Hank Bloodmoor: Better bring some jars*grins*

Some Random Tomato Killer: He is a pawn of Chauntea!

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] "Why not wait until the juice is sweetest, to taunt the tree so?"

Some Random Tomato Killer: She has him seduced...

Some Random Tomato Killer: ..BY HER FRUIT!

Some Random Tomato Killer: THOSE CANTELOPES ARE ROUND, JUICY...SEDUCTIVE THINGS.

Hank Bloodmoor: [Party] makes you want to eat them, dont they?

Some Random Tomato Killer: ....

Sariana : [Party] *she carefully takes a few steps over, just in case some great axe carrying lunatic suddenly decided to cut a farmer a head shorter and needed to jump in the way*

Some Random Tomato Killer: ...THEY ARE THE TEMPTRESSES! *HE runs and starts hacking at the cantelope, if no one stops him*

Old Farmer: HEY!

Old Farmer: HEEYY!

Sariana : [Party] *would try to grab the axe by the handle!*

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] *Which she would indeed do!  She put a hand on the man's chest to stop him*

Some Random Tomato Killer: *He broke free from Sariana and the now pained Valdis*

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] *She winced and gritted her teeth as the man pulled an already very aggrieved muscle*

Some Random Tomato Killer: *HACK. Hack. Those poor cantelopes now bared their juice to the earth.*

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] "Don't you see what you're doing?"

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] "Look at all those seeds coming out of the melons.  And onto fertile, tilled earth, no less."

Some Random Tomato Killer: STAB THE MELONS!

Some Random Tomato Killer: .....

Hank Bloodmoor: [Party] Someone will get excellent cook out of him one day*grins*

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] "When the spring comes, they'll rise anew.  You're doing the farmer's work for him."

Some Random Tomato Killer: *Now he heard what Valdis said, and plopped down, now depressed*

Some Random Tomato Killer: I am failing in this crusade....

Some Random Tomato Killer: The Earth is an overwhelming demon.

Some Random Tomato Killer: [Tell] How is this?

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] *She reached down to place a hand on his shoulder*  "You must have patience.  It has been here for many years before you.  Your foe has had much time to plan."

Hank Bloodmoor: [Party] even if you burn the farm, it will rise from ashes

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] *She nods to Hank*

Hank Bloodmoor: [Party] stronger than ever

Some Random Tomato Killer: Good people...

Some Random Tomato Killer: You can join me and rid me of the Earthmother's footsoldiers!

Sariana : [Party] Well, you could become a cook! *she says, though absently still inspecting Valdis from the corner of her eyes*

Some Random Tomato Killer: *He eyed Sariana*

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] "My friends here have the right idea."

Some Random Tomato Killer: Are you tempting me, elven mistress?

Sariana : [Party] If you are good enough, everyone would come to your restaurant!

Hank Bloodmoor: [Party] Thats one way of twisting the twisted*nods*

Some Random Tomato Killer: With your white virtue, with a whip and chains to excite beneath those robes!?

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] "Every day you can torture the fruits of the Earthmother's labors."

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] *She eyed Sariana at that, her lips curling in a smile*

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] "...We should all be so lucky, sir."

Sariana : [Party] *she clears her throat*

Some Random Tomato Killer: ...I will not put myself between her loins!

Some Random Tomato Killer: I will not be TEMPTED!

Some Random Tomato Killer: THE ELVES ARE WORKING WITH THE EARTHMOTHER!

Some Random Tomato Killer: WE KNEW IT.

Some Random Tomato Killer: THE NETHERESE WERE RIGHT.

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] *She bit her lip to avoid laughter*

Sariana : [Party] ...

Sariana : [Party] I... trust me, my... loins are the point I'd rather have you the farthest removed from.

Hank Bloodmoor: [Party] *grins* make it serve you rather than you it.

Some Random Tomato Killer: I MUST NOT BE TEMPTED. OH FATHER FLOATING ISLAND.

Some Random Tomato Killer: HELP ME.

Some Random Tomato Killer: SHE DENIES ME AND I AM TEMPTED MORE.

Some Random Tomato Killer: ......She must have apples in that armor.

Some Random Tomato Killer: *He said.*

Sariana : [Party] // I can't stop laughing

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] *She bites down on her gauntleted finger to keep from bursting into laughter*

Hank Bloodmoor: [Party] *snickers a bit*

Sariana : [Party] I ah... am... .UGH.

Old Farmer: *He started to sob*

Some Random Tomato Killer: .......She is twisting the poor man's heart...

Hank Bloodmoor: [Party] *looks sumpathetically at the farmer*

Some Random Tomato Killer: Poor soul..

Some Random Tomato Killer: I MUST FREE HIM OF HER CLUTCHES!

Sariana : [Party] ..

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] *She cleared her throat and took a deep breath, then she tightened her hold on the man's shoulder*  "Easy."

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] "Perhaps you should seduce her in turn.  Turn her from the wicked path and make her an ally."

Some Random Tomato Killer: *He looked to Valdis* ...You are with me or against me.

Some Random Tomato Killer: HELP ME SEDUCE THE FAIR MAIDEN.

Sariana : [Party] *she looks to Valdis as if a similar question had risen to her mind as the mad man had just posed*

Commoner, Female: *Super nervous*

Hank Bloodmoor: [Party] Hmm.. what do you think she would be interested in sir axe man

Old Farmer: ..Please. I just want him out of here...and...to figure out how to live...

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] "I am with you sir, be assured of that."  *She bit her lip to avoid laughing again* "It will not be an easy thing...First, we must get you cleaned up.  Get you into some nicer clothes, put that axe away...Maybe a haircut...yes."

Some Random Tomato Killer: ...Okay.

Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] "She has seen your conviction and courage in the face of a mighty foe, but has she seen the sensitive soul that lurks beneath that rugged exterior?"

Some Random Tomato Killer: *He rose. Seemed placated.*

Hank Bloodmoor: [Party] Working on it *nods to the farmer* Women here has things... well semi under control I think

Some Random Tomato Killer: .....

[Valdís Brandrsdóttir: [Party] "Come, lets get you into town and work on that.  What do you say?"

Some Random Tomato Killer: Let me be your bodyguard, fair maiden! I will show you I will protect you better than the Earthmother!

Sariana : [Party] *she takes her helmet off, so she can properly rub her brow*

Some Random Tomato Killer: .......*He put his axe away, reluctantly, eyeing his most adversed, chosen foe and enemy....*

Some Random Tomato Killer: *The vegetables.*

[ladybug]

[whitespirit]

Maahaha! <3